Sitting with Your Emotions: Why It’s Hard and Why It’s Worth It
The Stigma Around Emotional Awareness
In a culture that often praises resilience as “toughing it out” and equates vulnerability with weakness, emotional awareness and emotional expression (like crying, sadness, etc.) is highly stigmatized. Many people are taught from a young age to suppress their feelings (do these sound familiar: “it’s not a big deal”, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”, “boys don’t cry”, “get over it”)—whether it’s the message you were told or that expressing frustration or sadness is “too much.” Over time, these beliefs make it harder for individuals to recognize, express, and process their emotions in a healthy way.
The Fear of Expressing Emotions
For many, openly expressing emotions feels risky. There’s fear of judgment, rejection, or being seen as overly sensitive. Some worry that if they allow themselves to feel their emotions fully, they might spiral out of control. Others have been conditioned to believe that their feelings are an inconvenience to others. This leads to emotional suppression, which can manifest as stress, anxiety, or even physical symptoms like headaches and fatigue.
The Challenge of Sitting with Your Emotions
Sitting with your emotions means allowing yourself to feel without distraction or immediate reaction. This can be incredibly uncomfortable because:
Judgment of Emotions - how often have your heard yourself or others call certain emotions “negative”? Like being sad, upset, embarrassed, etc. This sets us up to feel that we cannot feel these at all, leading into the next challenge of…
Emotions May Feel Overwhelming – Sadness, anger, and grief can be intense, making it tempting to avoid them.
Distraction Is Everywhere – Many turn to social media, work, or other distractions to escape uncomfortable emotions.
It Requires Patience – Unlike quick fixes, emotional processing takes time and self-compassion.
The Benefits of Sitting with Your Emotions
While uncomfortable at first, learning to sit with your emotions has powerful benefits:
Greater Self-Awareness – Understanding your emotions helps you recognize patterns and triggers.
Better Emotional Regulation – Rather than reacting impulsively, you can respond with intention.
Improved Relationships – Being in touch with your emotions allows for deeper and more authentic connections with others.
Decreased Anxiety and Stress – Suppressed emotions don’t disappear—they build up. Processing them reduces emotional tension.
Two Strategies to Practice Sitting with Your Emotions
1. Mindful Observation
Instead of avoiding an uncomfortable feeling, take a moment to pause and observe it. Ask yourself:
Where do I feel this emotion in my body?
What thoughts come up when I experience this emotion?
Can I name this emotion without judgment?
By treating emotions as temporary experiences rather than threats, you can build tolerance for discomfort and lessen emotional reactivity.
2. Journaling Your Emotions
Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process them in a structured way. Try using prompts such as:
“Right now, I feel… because…”
“I notice that I tend to avoid feeling _____ by doing ____.”
“If this emotion could talk, what would it say?”
Journaling creates space between you and your emotions, making them feel less overwhelming and more manageable.
How a Therapist Can Help
If sitting with your emotions feels daunting, a therapist can provide guidance and support. Therapy creates a safe, nonjudgmental space to explore your emotions, identify underlying patterns, and develop healthy coping mechanisms. At Better Minds Counseling & Services, we help clients move from emotional avoidance to emotional resilience. Our therapists work with you to process emotions in a way that feels safe and empowering, using approaches like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness, and self-compassion techniques.
Emotional awareness is not a sign of weakness, quite the opposite, it’s a sign of strength. Learning to sit with your emotions takes practice, and the benefits are profound. If you're ready to take the next step in understanding and navigating your emotions, reach out to Better Minds Counseling & Services. Our therapists are here to support you on your journey toward emotional well-being.
