Be Kind to Yourself This New Year: Reflect, Reset, and Realistically Plan
Ah, the New Year—a season filled with glittery countdowns, ambitious resolutions, and a dash of existential dread. If you’ve ever found yourself staring at a blank list of goals wondering, “Why does this feel so overwhelming?”, you’re not alone.
The New Year has a knack for bringing up all the feelings. Excitement? Sure. Hope? Hopefully. But also stress, pressure, and that little voice whispering, “Shouldn’t you be doing more?” Let’s talk about how you can be kind to yourself this New Year while reflecting, resetting, and creating goals that are actually achievable (no 5 a.m. workout challenges required).
Step 1: Reflect Without Judgment
Reflection is a natural part of the New Year—our brains love a fresh start to look back and assess and know what we can do better. But here’s the kicker: Reflection doesn’t mean nitpicking everything you didn’t do.
Instead of spiraling into self-criticism, try these things to stop that cycle:
Celebrate Wins, Big and Small: Maybe you didn’t run that marathon, but did you manage to walk regularly? Or maybe just survive a particularly tough year? That’s worth celebrating!
Strategy: Have a weekly calendar appointment where you can write wins in the appointment to reflect on. Even have a “wins” call with a friend.
Ask Curious Questions: Rather than beating yourself up with “Why didn’t I…?”, try “What can I learn from this?”
Strategy: Reframing your questions is a gamechanger. It takes the judgment out of the questions to yourself, cause that judgment really isn’t serving you.
Zoom Out: One missed goal doesn’t define your entire year. Look at the bigger picture—what areas of life brought you joy, peace, or connection?
Reminder: You may be one that when something happens, it ruins everything. When you step back, there are so many things in your day, week, year that have gone so well, don’t let a small moment define your entire year.
Reflection is like looking through a camera lens; sometimes you need to adjust the focus to see the whole picture clearly.
Step 2: Reset Realistically
The New Year often comes with the idea of a “reset,” but let’s be honest: you don’t need to reinvent yourself every January. You’re not an outdated iPhone in need of a software update!
A kinder way to reset is to focus on what feels sustainable:
Declutter Your Goals: Got a list of 20 things you must accomplish? Let’s pare it down. Choose 1–3 goals that feel meaningful, not overwhelming.
Prioritize Rest and Self-Care: Rest isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. Build in time to recharge—it’s the foundation for achieving anything else. When we get sick or worn down, it is our body screaming for rest.
Embrace Progress Over Perfection: Growth isn’t linear, and that’s okay. Each small step forward is still progress.
Remember, a reset doesn’t mean starting from scratch. Sometimes, it’s just about tweaking what’s already working or letting go of what’s not.
Step 3: Set Achievable Goals (AKA, No Need to Climb Mount Everest)
If New Year’s resolutions feel like a setup for failure, that’s because they often are—when they’re unrealistic. The key is to aim for goals that stretch you just enough without snapping you like an over-pulled rubber band.
Here’s how:
Break It Down: Big goals are more manageable when divided into smaller, actionable steps. Instead of “Get healthier,” first define what is “healthier”, and maybe it is trying “Take a 10-minute walk after dinner three times a week.”
Tie Goals to Your Values: Ask yourself, “Why does this goal matter to me?” Goals that align with your values are more motivating and meaningful.
Stay Flexible: Life happens. Give yourself permission to adjust your goals as needed.
How Therapy Can Help You Be Kind to Yourself
Sometimes, even the kindest self-reflection and goal-setting feel like a lot to tackle on your own. That’s where therapy comes in.
Therapists are like your personal cheerleaders, but with tools, strategies, and a really great listening ear. Here’s how they can help:
Reframe Negative Self-Talk: If your inner critic is loud, a therapist can help you reframe those thoughts into something more compassionate and productive. This is a skill and takes practice to strengthen that skill.
Explore Your Values: Therapy helps you dig deeper into what truly matters to you, so your goals reflect your authentic self—not societal pressures.
Build Coping Strategies: Overwhelmed by the pressure of the New Year? Therapists can teach you tools like mindfulness and grounding techniques to manage stress.
Stay Accountable: A therapist isn’t there to judge you—they’re there to support you. Regular check-ins can help you stay on track while keeping the process flexible and human.
The Biggest Resolution: Be Kind to Yourself
This New Year, let’s ditch the pressure to have it all figured out. Instead, make your biggest resolution to be kind to yourself.
Reflect on your past year with curiosity, not criticism.
Reset in a way that feels refreshing, not overwhelming.
Create goals that feel right for you—not what Instagram or your neighbor suggests.
And if you need support along the way? Better Minds Counseling & Services is here to help. Therapy is a space where you can process, plan, and grow—all while being reminded that you’re already enough, just as you are.
Ready to Start?
Let’s make 2024 the year of progress, not perfection. Reach out to us today at Better Minds Counseling & Services to see how therapy can help you step into the New Year with clarity, compassion, and achievable goals.
Because the best way to start a new chapter is by being kind to the person writing it.
